When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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