If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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