She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
