i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
