due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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