Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My life is pants optional.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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