Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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