We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
