I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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