my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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