Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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