when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize