all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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