Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
