We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
