K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
