Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
