I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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