my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
