If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
