She announced her abortion via fbk
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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