Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
