I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just pee around me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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