plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
