Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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