omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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