does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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