New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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