Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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