Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
