everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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