my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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