sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize