If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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