I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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