Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
