i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
