so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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