I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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