I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
