dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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