her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
