Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
