why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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