I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
bring money and cleavage
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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