Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The power of my boobs compel you
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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