just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
