Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize