Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
