the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
