And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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