I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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