I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
