Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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