I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
