i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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