Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
