why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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