Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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