So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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