what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
