I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
