There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
