dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
