my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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