yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
