It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
