What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
