Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
