Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
