Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
