I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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