im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
