I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
