we're blogging at a bar
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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