I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
